As the full audio of the interview was never released, these are from various portions.
Someone told Brooke that I was like, and evil motherfucker or something like that. And then Brooke like asked me if- she was like let's shoot up the school, like not- like I'm not joking. And I was down because I'd been planning that for like, a few months.
Back in September I start uh, getting like a really strong hate for my family and everyone around me. Because I felt like, um, I wasn't taken seriously and I felt like I wasn't heard, and I felt like everything was just a big joke to everyone. So I like, I just like- I wanted to be heard. I wanted to like get it out and like-. I started a lot of documentaries about like Columbine and everything. That really inspired it, to be honest.
Did you-. So when you watch this stuff on Columbine does it-. I don't wanna get into like how it made you feel but like, I mean did you look at those guys as heroes or? I mean-
I personally, like if I'm gonna be honest, I looked at them as like Gods. Like, I just found what they did very.
Ballsy?
Yeah.
Okay. I mean, you can talk any way you wanna talk.
Okay.
Don't worry about me, Okay.
Yeah.
I think. Like, I don't know I really, really, really, really connected to them I guess.
Mhhm
Which sounds really weird, but I did.
I don't think it sounds weird.
I could really see myself doing that, like I y'know was capable of doing it.
I don't- see a point in life really. Like I don't wanna be a part of this world. And I don't want- I don't think anyone deserves to live really.
Well, we take this stuff pretty seriously
Yeah.
Do you think we should be taking you seriously?
Yeah.
Do you think we should be taking your journal seriously?
In a way. Beause like, there was a point in time where it was more of a fantasy that I had to get out because I've always been very exaggerated. I exaggerate a lot of things and I- it has to be real to me.
Mhhm
So for a while it was more of a fantasy but then when I really started thinking about it and like, it jus- I got like so invested in it.
So-
When I met Brooke and everything it became really real.
Does she go to school too with you?